Previous England skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the World Cup champion 2003 side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the condition.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to really process that at the present time," he said.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is definitely a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, says instead he feels "calm" as he directs his attention to his current welfare, his family and making preparations for when the condition worsens.
"Perhaps that's trauma or possibly I deal with matters uniquely, and after I have the information, it's easier," he continued.
Early Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some reduced power in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the condition, a number of scans indicated nerve cells in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You're given this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately extremely affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't feel sick. I don't sense unwell
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have some muscle deterioration in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I'm still able to performing all activities. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Illness Advancement
MND can develop rapidly.
As per the charity MND Association, the disease kills a one-third of people within a twelve months and over half within 730 days of detection, as swallowing and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only slow decline.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," added an affected Moody.
"There's sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Effect
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he discussed informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was rather devastating," Moody said.
"We were seated on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced licking the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody explained the focus was remaining in the now.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be very militantly concentrated on just embracing and enjoying all aspects now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been very blessed that the only real determination I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much period with the kids as possible. We don't get those periods back."
Sportsman Association
Professional competitors are excessively affected by MND, with research indicating the incidence of the disease is up to 600% higher than in the wider community.
It is considered that by limiting the O2 obtainable and causing injury to neural pathways, consistent, strenuous training can activate the condition in those inherently vulnerable.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his courageous, persistent approach to the game.
He competed through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a practice altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he discarded a tackle pad and began participating in collisions.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the crucial phase of play, creating a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing drop kick.
Assistance Network
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a handful of other previous colleagues about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the present, just having that kind of love and acceptance that people are there is all that matters," he stated.
"This game is such a excellent community.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to call your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the most important honors.
"Having accomplished it for so long a time with the teams that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will wish to assist in whatever way they can and I await having those talks."
